Mother's Ruin: Hey Fats, would you like to compere this event at the Royal Exchange?
Me: I AMM SELLOTAPING A HROSE
Mother's Ruin: That's fine, but would you like to compere Mother's Bloomers in November?
Me: I CANNOTE LISTEN TO YOU BCAUSE I AM PUTTING SELLOTAP ALL AROUNDD THIS HORSE
Mother's Ruin: It's the best event to see bold, brave new queer performance, and as Manchester's leading gay spoken word cartoon prop comedian, we think that--
Me: I HAV RUN OUTOF SELLOTAPE BECAUSE HORSES ARE VERRY BIG OMG
Mother's Ruin: We'll take that as a yes, then.
Buy tickets for Mother's Bloomers at the Royal Exchange on November 14th here.